STORY 76

I call the scar on my throat "my leaving present" from the media organization I worked for. For eighteen months I threw up almost every day, from fear and misery. I knew I was being driven out, bullied, belittled, ridiculed, undermined, threatened. It was just a matter of time how long I'd stick it out. Eventually I gave in and accepted "a voluntary redundancy" with of course an NDA.

The few weeks after I left were in some ways the worst because I was convinced I'd never work again. The nausea got worse. One day I woke up with no voice, just a croak. For the next four years my voice cracked and broke. Eventually surgery restored some function to my vocal cords, most likely damaged by all that throwing up. I wasn't the first. I knew others had "left" because of similar behavior by those running our team. At least one of our bosses has built a fantastic and lucrative reputation which bears no resemblance whatsoever to their day to day behavior.

Layer upon layer of NDA's has protected them for years. I've since spoken to others who endured similar behavior more recently in the same organization. There's an especially profound hypocrisy in the media. The role of journalism is to hold power to account, expose wrongdoing, shine a light into the dark corners of abusive workplaces. And it all stops at the doors of the newsrooms and production companies.

I didn't work in my part of the industry for 2 years and wasn't sure I ever would. Slowly I was drawn back in and eventually offered a job. It took me a while to stop bracing for the open criticisms, the snide comments, the weary contempt. I realized I was working with a team who actually liked and respected each other. I had bosses who were consistent, coherent, supportive and sane. They have quite literally given me my voice back.